Someone threw a question, “What if at the end of this life,
we find out that there is no God, no heaven or hell?”
In a normal day, I would have simply answered him, “And what
if there is?”
But I changed my mind. I was not up to a lengthy belief
debate. I knew that it won’t end good.
And perhaps, I may probably have that question lurking
somewhere in my subconscious.
“What if there is no God? What if there is nothing after
this life? What if everything is just a hoax? And religions were just built so
that people can make some sense in their otherwise boring life or perhaps to
make money for some?”
How will this belief change me?
Will I not go to church anymore? Will I not pray anymore?
Will I discard all the religious articles that I have? My car will have a
little less clutter. I will have an extra corner in the house for my books or
plants in place of my altar.
Who will be greater than me? My boss? My very successful
friend? Or perhaps the wealthiest one? Those politicians? Who will I follow? My
mom? Or my older friend? Or why even ask, I can be the greatest and I can only
choose to take orders from me.
What will I do? Jump from job to job whenever I encounter
difficult people in the office? Cheat, so that I can have all the money that I
want? Jump from relationship to relationship? Have a pleasure-filled life, even
at the expense of other people, even at the expense of myself? Live to the full
– travel all I want, gym and massage all I want, food trip all I want, shop all
I want, or sleep all I want? Even if the people around me don’t have a decent
thing to eat, wear or sleep on?
Will I become that self-centered, egoistic b*t*h just
because I do not have to be answerable for the way I live my life now? After
all, I do not have anyone to answer to.
Will I do that? Perhaps, if it will make me happy.
But will it make me happy?
I cannot prove scientifically that there is a god or
anything of that sort. But there are so many moments and circumstances in my
life that I do strongly feel (to the point of making me believe) that there is
a greater Force, a more beautiful, gentler and very mysterious Force present in
me and around me. I feel happy when I see a plant, especially when it has a
flower. I feel sad when something or someone dies. I feel warm when my mom wakes
up early in the morning to prepare my breakfast. I feel cold when I hear of a
man leaving his family for another woman. I feel rich when I am generous. I feel
poor when I am stingy. I am amazed and I feel special when at a very low day,
someone I do not expect to remember will remember to say hi. I am overwhelmed
when an opportunity that I know I do not deserve is given to me. I feel bad
when after giving my best, I still do not seem to measure up to one’s standard.
But I start feeling good again when someone encourages me and reminds me to
hope for better things to come. I am afraid of dying but I am more afraid of
dying even before my death. I feel great when I am brave, to try even if I fail.
I feel bad when I am bad to other people.
And I can go on and on…
I do not know where those emotions
came from. How do I decide what will make me feel this way or that way? What
moves me? What affects my choices in life? My upbringing? The people around me?
Societal conditioning? What part of my system decides whatever it is that makes
me feel good or bad? My conscience? Where does it come from? From a higher Being?
That is my belief.
If that higher Being cares enough to give me a conscience,
will He or She or It just abandon me as if I am just a puppet in this show
called life? I believe He won’t. I cannot be 100% sure that my belief is true.
But, that is why you call it faith.
And so, I throw back the question to you. What will change
if you find out that there is no God nor heaven nor hell?
