Of Hunger and Creativity

Hunger can really juice out a person’s creativity.
I threw a small nachos party some weeks ago. Just around a kilogram of ground beef, one pack of McCormick’s Taco Mix, two packs of nachos (instead of taco shells), chopped onion, grated cheese and shredded lettuce are more than enough to feed five friends who post-celebrated with me for my little house blessing. I also concocted a tuna spaghetti - two large cans of Century Tuna in vegetable oil (one regular and one hot & spicy), sautéed together with chopped white onions and garlic, added with all-purpose cream and small Jolly Cream of Mushroom. After the short chika and festive eating, everybody went home while a lot of food was left. The spaghetti was allocated for my officemates breakfast while the taco beef remained in the ref.

One thing (I cannot say whether it’s good or not) about living alone in a small house is that you really have to have the mood or enough motivation to cook in order to do cook. I cook when there are friends coming over or when I have the energy to cook my food to either help me save a little or to make me feel good for being able to pamper myself. Otherwise, I just eat out or sleep early so that my stomach won't realize that it hadn't taken dinner.

There is this one particular night which I found myself really really hungry because I was so tired from the office. And I need to have a heavy dinner. There is no rice in the ref, just a lot of wilting vegetables in the crisper. I prayed for a ready rice meal (I no longer have the energy to do a like-water-for-chocolate cooking). And viola, the answer is right in from of my eyes! In the second layer of the ref lies the Tupperware which contain the leftover taco beef. And so, the creative juices just started seeping out (I don’t know if that is an effect of my being an R&D Specialist in a food company or that is just induced by the gastric juices being secreted in hundreds of milliliters in my stomach already).

I managed to concoct my very own taco pinakbet (may be also coined as tacobet… hmm, with the very smelly association). It is easy to make a tacobet. You just need the following:
Chopped garlic and onion
Some wilted okra, eggplant, and ampalaya (cut pinakbet-style)
One egg
Leftover taco beef
I sautéed the chopped garlic and onion, added the okra, eggplant, and ampalaya, and then mixed the taco beef until it was heated enough to be palatable. Then just right before taking off from the fire, an egg is beaten and added to the about-to-be-finished tacobet. It was an explosive mix of flavors…. (okay, I was exaggerating! I was hungry, how can I help it?).

So, my dinner consisted of the tacobet plus the nachos galore that was left from the party. (One tip to really preserve leaf vegetables especially lettuce – wash them one by one, dry them completely, wrap in paper or tissue and keep in crisper. It will last for days as long as they do not get wet.) It was such a feast.

Well, that was weeks ago. Tonight, I found myself hungry again and without the energy to cook after some sale shopping (yippee!!!). So I made a dinner from what’s available – strawberry tomato luncheon meat sandwich.

When it comes to cooking or preparing food, your creativity will really ooze out on its own. Well, most likely and especially when you are really hungry. Feast on! J

The Sacrament of Waiting

A priest once said that sacrament is like the soil from which the plant get its primary nourishment to people like us who wants to get closer to God. There are different sacraments, each serving its unique purpose. Some can be instituted more than once, others are free anytime.

Some people say that waiting is a sacrament. I did not have the complete idea why. I never get to wait. All I want, I will get, at my own time. All I can do, I will even without help. I can be by myself, never needing anyone. I do not want to need anybody. Perhaps, its because I do not want to wait for them. Why do, when I can be like an island – untouched and detached.

But now, perhaps I slightly understood why it is called a sacrament.

Because I had to learn how to wait.

I understood the need to wait:
For other people, upon realization that I do need them and their help.
For the pain to subside, after finally learning to admit that no matter how I try to be always right, I am still flesh and blood.
For things to be settled, for at one point in one’s life, it gets too tiring to have a quick fix on everything. Relationships do get messed up. People do cause deep hurts to each other.
For blessings to be received. I can do many things. I can achieve many things. But not everything. And I realized that I would have not achieved what I had by myself.
For forgiveness to be given.
For relationships to be mended.
For people I lost to come back.
For the faithfulness to my One True Love to be learned and exercised commitedly.
For dreams to be weaved and fulfilled.

Waiting is a sacrament because it develops the godliness in a person. It brings a person closer to God. Because when one waits, one has to believe even what seems impossible. One has to truly listen to his heart. Is this waiting all worth it? Why do I have to wait when I can have a detour? Will this waiting be good for me?

How long shall one wait? Until he can take it? Until his boredom does not eat him alive? Until when he can keep his sanity and faith? Until he can bear the pain of unforgiveness and unmended relationship? Until he gains discipline? Until he learns how to listen to his heart intently so he will know that the waiting is over?

Or perhaps, until when waiting has developed the wisdom to just be peaceful and happy despite not having everything one has been waiting for.

for Sherra's blook

Sherra is my passionate kumare and ex-office mate who inspired me to finally start this blog... This is my contribution to her blook (blog book) which I hope she finishes soon... written July 19, 2008


I was with my graduate school friends taking our usual after-class snacks. After a grueling class in Finance, it was really therapeutic to talk about silly and “mababaw” stuffs. Out of the blue, I don’t know why the topic shifted to future plans.

One shared about his plans to follow his parents in Japan and find work there. A friend who was a full-time student was planning to find a real job after graduation. Another classmate related how she was just struggling to finish the degree so she can lead a normal life again. When it was my turn to share, I just quipped, “Gusto kong mag-asawa.” I told them that it was my ultimate dream in life. Of course, they never stopped teasing me after that especially owing to the fact that I was NBSB that time.

Eversince my paper-doll-playing days when I was seven, I had always wanted a happy and warm family. My paperdoll Mommy, Daddy and three kids will all sleep at night together after a fun-filled day. You see, I never grew up with a dad. He died when I was four and I guess, having a complete family with a father to cherish and protect his wife and kids was something that I have always wanted to experience.

A guy from the community I am involved in courted me. He was not exactly the one that I imagined myself to be with. But he was okay. He was laid back, funny, cool, street smart - everything that I am not. I gave him my yes and so, I had my first boyfriend.

The relationship didn’t work. I realized there were so many things that I still have to learn about men, about love. I have no brother or any close guy friend to learn them from. The lesson cost me a broken relationship, a year of wallowing in pain, a struggle to rise above my fears and to rebuild my lost self-confidence. But despite these tradeoffs, I had gained invaluable realizations through this episode in my life. I had proven how truly great God is. He had taken away only a single person but it led me to rebuild and enrich my relationship with my family and friends, and yes, even to myself. I thought God shattered my heart. But in retrospect, He had made my heart more beautiful. He allowed me to learn and experience the true meaning of love – for myself, for other people, and for Him my true Father.

As of this writing, I am already a few steps away from complete healing. I have come to accept that I am a good person and that guy is also a good person but sometimes, two good people are not just good together. I have decided that there is no other way but to move forward, leave the past behind and believe that the best is still to come.

My ultimate dream in life does not change. I still dream of raising my Christian family with a good man. And so, I remain hopeful that at the right time, when I am prepared myself, God will give me the man that I am praying for - someone who makes me laugh over silly things, who loves me for the great things and the not-so-great things about me, whom I can talk to about anything under the sun until the wee hours of the morning, who will wrap me with an embrace that tells me that I am loved and cared for despite myself, who finds it sweet and cute how i run my fingers through his face and pinch his cheeks the hardest I can, who listens to what I am saying and what I am not saying, who corrects me when I’m pasaway, who will tell me that I have the most beautiful voice while I’m singing even if I am really not, who will cook for me and stay beside me when I am sick, who will love my favorite sinigang na “pauto” because it is my favorite, who will give me three beautiful kids, who is faithful and true, who treats me well and gently, who I can love warts and all and who will just allow me to love him the best way I can.